March 2nd...
Well today has been a day of Derrick's jobs...and what a hard job he has! I may gripe about everything I have to do, being a mom and all that stuff...but his to-do list is jam-packed with heavy equipment and physically daunting tasks! My goodness, I really thought putting that crib together was going to be a piece of cake today. I achieved complete muscle failure before I was even done with the headboard! Not to mention the assembly directions that were e-mailed to me were 18 pages long and could just as well been written in japanese. I couldn't understand what they meant with the all the bolt nuts and the cam lock screws and the barrel nuts...I just looked at the pictures and hoped it looked like a crib when I was done. No wonder Derrick said so many bad words that night he put Cael's together. It may have been a tad easier, had I not had a helper. I am so excited for his birthday this weekend...we are getting him a tool bench! Finally, a way for him to help without actually "helping"!
After we got the crib together (and took a much needed rest) we went to get the oil changed in the car, another job that is in Derrick's territory. As well as actually checking the oil and putting some in...I am terrible. My dad will be the first one to tell you that. I was so ready for the guys at Jiffy Lube to yell at me, but they didn't! Cael made such an impression playing peek-a-boo with a lady in the waiting area, that she even went out to her car when it was done and brought us back in a $10 off coupon. Talk about awesome!
Even though I feel good about myself when I do these types of chores, all it really does deep down is make me realize how much I need Derrick here. I don't want to put oil in the car. There I said it. And I don't want to check the tire pressure either. I want to get the kids out, and in the house and be done. Is that such a bad thing? Is it ok for me to want his to-do list to be so long? Not only do I want him to be here for the heavy lifting, but I am not sure if I want him to know I can do these things. I want him to always feel like the man of the house, and think that I NEED him to do them because I can't. Isn't that the way husbands are supposed to think? What am I telling him if I can handle myself while he is away? How else can I let him know that we DO need him. We need him here for every reason under the sun...I don't want him to ever feel like I am taking his place. And Derrick...I know you are reading this! I didn't mean for all that to come out, it just happens sometimes when I write. It's how I am feeling, so there you go I guess. A minute's glimpse in the 'always going' mind of Darci.
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