I'm so tired!

March 24th...

I am going to apologize in advance, this is probably going to be either really short, or drag on and on about my day...I will decide as I write I guess. Today was an absolutely exhausting day. Do't get me wrong, it was a lot of fun in the middle...but I don't remember the last time I have been this tired. I was exhausted a few days ago and that seems like nothing now! I know, If I am this tired, I should be in bed. Both kids are sleeping...so why aren't I? Good question. The answer is a little ridiculous...TV. Survivor, Idol, catching up on last weeks Amazing Race...these are all shows that need to be watch in silence. It's just a weird tick I have, I don't get the full effect of the show if I am constantly pausing it or missing things. I have an addiction, I know. Hello, My name is Darci and I am a reality-tv-show-aholic...

Today started at the Dr's office for Cael's physical and 2 year check up. Oh boy. That was a nightmare. New clinic, new waiting room (with NOTHING for him to do,) new people. He screamed and acted boneless from the second she called us back. It was a nightmare. On top of the stress I was already feeling, the dr told me the best thing to do about his picky eating is to put my foot down hard and wait it out...not letting him eat anything else at lunch or dinner until he finally gives up and eats what I eat. I knew that wasn't going to go well. And again, on top of that, she is a little concerned about his talking and referred us to a speech therapist to make sure he can hear 100%. Just a precaution she doesn't think he is deaf at all (and neither do I) but he doesn't put words together and apparently he should. I'm not worried about his talking it all...but knowing that someone else is just adds to my stressful day.

After the dr, we went to the park and that part should have been awesome. I love the park, I love watching Cael play with other kids, and he does really well there. Today something hit me though and I realized how much I really miss Derrick. My kids are in completely different age brackets, and I literally have to pick one while we are at the park with friends. I can either leave Averi with the other moms and be with Cael to take pictures, help him on the ladders, or just play with him and constantly wonder is Averi is fussing or wanting something...or I can choose to stay with Averi, and stress about where Cael is and trying to follow his feet between all the playground equipment trying to make sure he doesn't get kidnapped or trampled by the bigger kids. No matter which I choose, or how many times I switch...It's exhausting! Next time I am taking my baby carrier so Av can just hang out and we can watch Cael together.

Dinner was definitely an issue when we got home (which I knew it would be) but I wanted to follow the dr's advice because I know she is right. He needs to learn that I am the mom and that makes me the boss, and what I cook for dinner is what we have for dinner and he will either eat it or be hungry. I don't normally give in and make him something else, but I will usually give him some milk or a piece of cheese to eat with dinner so he will at least eat something. Not tonight though. Tonight I put my foot down and he hated it. His dinner is still sitting on the table...untouched. He is going to be starving when he wakes up in the morning and it is going to take everything I have to keep doing this every night. He will get it eventually though and this will all be over...hopefully sooner than later.

Well....I guess drag on and on was the answer for my warning at the top...I think I knew that already in the back of my mind. I am going to go pull my hair out now. It's all falling out anyway, when I get out of the shower the water will hardly drain because of all my hair falling out! My friend said it's the stress of Derrick leaving. Maybe I will join my friend Kelli and just shave it. We can be bald together :)