Jan 22nd...

Today caught me off guard emotionally. I have listening to the news about the earthquake in Haiti, but it hadn't yet hit just how much it hurt the people living there. I guess in an extremely selfish way, I decided not to dwell on it so the news wouldn't bring me down or make me start thinking about if anything happened to us. A coping mechanism I guess. But last night looking at the guide on TV I saw that the Haiti Telethon was on and I remembered hearing Ellen mention it on her show a few days before. I turned to it when I normally would find something less depressing to watch, and I watched the whole thing. There were celebrities there to answer phones and take donations, and I fell semi uncomfortable admitting that was a huge part of why I wanted to call in and donate. I didn't get a celebrity when I called, I got an average person named John to take my donation and when I got off the phone I broke down and cried. Not because I was disappointed, but because I was embarrassed about not caring more to begin with. That opened the bag of worms for me and then I was a non stop cry baby throughout the whole telethon, they showed a bunch of little kids and babies who had lost their parents in the earthquake, or still didn't know, and it makes my stomach hurt. I told Derrick that if we had enough money, he would have to literally chain me to the floor to keep me from adopting one them and bringing them home, to show them that even through all this sadness, they can still be loved, if not by their original family, then by a new one, but a family just the same. He said if we had to money he wouldn't have chained me down. I can only hope that someone would feel the same way if something were to happen to me or Derrick.

I didn't mean to write a book...but I think I grew up today.

Jan 23rd...

Confession, Derrick took this picture. He has been sorting out all of his gear, getting ready for his deployment and whether he needs or not, he has a helper! I love this picture.

Jan 24th...

Last night, I went to Kohls with my 15% off coupon from my e-mail, I had my heart set on those exercise shoes with the rounded bottoms. I realize they may be a tad dorky looking, but I don't know a single person here, and I hardly leave the house. I don't ever take the time to put in my Crunchless Abs DVD while the kids are napping, and I don't want to lie to myself anymore saying, tomorrow I will start. Instead, I figure I can walk around my house all day long, chasing after cael and playing games, plus the occasional trip to the grocery store, and as long as I am wearing those shoes...Booyah! They will take the jiggle right out of my butt. right? Whoa, got a little off track there, sorry. Anyways, they didn't have my size, so I decided to get something for Cael instead. All there toys and games were buy one get one 1/2 off and I found him these puzzles where all the animals have the same shaped piece that comes out so you can mix and match. They were am impulse buy, but I am happy today that he likes them and has been playing with them all day.