Jan 28th...
I had a lot of thinking to do today. I have been attempting to start school recently. I found the Art Institute of Tennessee, fell in love with it, and tried to dip my toes in the water... maybe see if it could work. Bottom line is, I think it could. It would be a stretch, but the photography program there is awesome and I would be really excited to do it. Aside from how great it would be, I decided to put it on the back burner for right now. I am still going to attend. I made that promise to myself already... just not right now. With Derrick leaving, I was looking to school as a chance to escape the reality of being alone. Something to take my mind off of it. I was bugging him so much about getting all the paperwork done, and worrying so much about getting in, that I stopped thinking about what Derrick is going through. That was not my intention in any way. I realized today that my family doesn't need me to run away. My kids don't need me to run away. I think about having the best days at school, and taking the most amazing pictures, and having no one to show them to when I get home. That's just not what I want. I would feel a whole lot better about everything if I waited until Derrick gets back. So that's what I am going to do. While he is away from us, I am going to be the best damn stay at home mom anyone has ever seen.... I will be the best damn student next year! :) I am coming AI, I promise!
well darc i think you made the best decision. a totally selfless act of mommy hood. its hard not doing something that will make you so happy for the sake of your family. it may be the first big "you" decision youve made but for certain there will be many more to come. just think of it this way - you have 18 years to raise happy healthy children, year 19 is just for you.....well thats how i think for me anyways :) love you
ReplyDeleteDarci, when I read your blog today, I actually burst into tears. I called your dad in to read it and said "she was right! She said she would grow up when she moved there with her family, and she did it! She's a grown woman with a family now!" He smiled and patted my head and said he agreed. No tears for him, on the outside, but I noticed he was a little quiet on our drive to Moscow. We are both so proud of the two of you.....never forget that!
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