My Poor Cael-Bug

March 31st...

Diaper rash sucks...

Moira and Maggie

March 30...

Well just like yesterday, I should start off with another birthday wish:

HAPPY BIRTHDAY NIKKI!!!

My sister's are only a day apart with there birthdays, I used to think they were SO lucky. But I like my lonely September birthday...I'll stick with it for now :)

In other news, we visited another park today. One I NEVER would have found by myself, it was way way hidden in some neighborhood I didn't even know existed. This city is so crazy...you think you have pretty much seen it all, but then you go down a side street and it branches out like there is no tomorrow. We have a lot of exploring to do, and I think we are making up ground very quickly now! A friend of my mom's has a daughter who coincidentally lives Clarksville. She, coincidentally has a daughter who went through another version of a misshapen skull, like Averi. Moira is 2 now and when she was 7 months she had to have the surgery to re-separate her skull bones that had prematurely fused together. Our moms exchanged phone numbers for us and we were able to get into contact, which was really great for me, to have someone who knows what we are about to go through. We decided to meet to today at her favorite park, a little gem that is fairly empty because it's so hidden. Kelly and I hit it off really well and will probably become pretty good friends, her daughters Maggie (4) and Moira absolutely LOVED seeing the baby, and they got along great with Cael. It was nice to see him play with Moira because they are only 8 days apart and I think she is the first actual girl friend he has had. When it was time to come to the picnic table for their snack, Moira instinctively grabbed Cael's hand and he was stunned...but he went with it. They looked so cute, I took like 15 pictures of them just walking.

Derrick, I know you would have loved to have been there today to see them, but I hope you know that even if Cael doesn't bring his daddy doll, you are with us every single minute of every single day. We don't have a single though without you in it :) I love you and could not be more proud to call you my husband.

Fresh Air

March 29th...

First off let me just give a little shout out to my sister :

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MISTY!

Ok, got that done, and there will be another one coming tomorrow.

Recently, I put an ad out about my love for photography because I decided I would like to start taking pictures of people...if they will let me. I am still planning on attending the Art Institute next year when Derrick comes home and I would be stupid not to get as much practice in as I can before then. I am going to spend my afternoons on little mini-adventures with the kids to really get to know Clarksville and what it has to offer. There are lots of parks, walking trails, some caves...or something. I don't know about those yet, those will be discovered by us at a later date. Today we went to the Clarksville Greenway walking paths and it was beautiful. There are a few trails to go on, but Cael and I chose to walk "Trail C" which is 3/4 of a mile. I wasn't sure if it was going to loop, or be a dead end but I figured it didn't really matter. I needed to exercise and it was a beautiful day outside for the kids to soak up some sun. Well...3 steps down the trail and Cael decided he wanted to walk too, instead of ride on the stroller. Then it mattered whether or not it was a loop! We were going so slow we may just as well have been going backwards. We got passed by 2 old men TWICE! They lapped us! I'm not sure how far we went before I decided to turn us around, quite a ways for Cael's little legs. He had so much fun. The wind was blowing dead leaves across the road and he was trying to catch them all and stomp on them like they were some kind of scary bug trying to get us. He also was very impressed with all the cows. We couldn't see them for most of our walk, but we could sure hear them! He kept trying to look up as high as he could to see over the hillside yelling "BOO!" (Moo in Cael world) He got to see them when we came back up out of the trails, but by that time they were quiet. By the sounds they were making...I'm glad his innocent eyes couldn't see what I'm pretty sure was going on anyway.

We sat out on the front steps today before leaving for the park and watched the military helicopters fly above our house. They fly by a lot, I think I am going to try and be ready with the camera next time we hear them and that can be my picture of the day. We'll see how that works out.

In other news, I am almost done with my book and, aside from a select few goosebump books i read in an hour or so in elementary school, I think this is the fastest I have read in a long time! I usually get so distracted by the TV...or the kids being loud...or just a dry spot in the book and I will set it down for a week or two. But not this one! Look Again by Lisa Scottoline, it is a heart wrencher but it is really good! Thanks Misty! I should be done by tonight, then it's on to the 2 latest Nicholas Sparks books!

Mittens? Really?

March 28th...

I guess Cael is finally getting to that age where he realizes that he can have some say in what he wears. We were headed to the store this afternoon and it was raining and gross outside but he HAD to where that sweatshirt. I finally gave up and said fine, if you're not going to wear a heavier coat, then I want you to wear a hat. Well I couldn't find his green casual one, but it didn't matter because he decided he wanted to wear the fuzzy one. I tried to tell him it wasn't THAT cold outside, but he didn't care. And you can't wear the hat without the mittens....

So that's how we went to the store today. Flimsy sweatshirt...insanely insulated hat and gloves. Watching him trying to hold his sippy cup was absolutely hysterical!

Our New Routine **Spoiler Alert** lol

March 27th...

I have been feeling a little guilty lately about not reading to Cael every night before bed. In our old house, it was a ritual and he loved it. We had the same 2 books we would read every night and he wouldn't let me leave the room until I had read them both.'Goodnight Horsey' and 'Marvin K Mooney Will You Please Go Now'. After the move, I'm not sure why I didn't start that up again, but I am starting now. We mailed 'Goodnight Horsey' to Derrick, and he received it today. He is going to read it to Cael and Averi on Skype as soon as he has personal internet and we will record it. I can't wait for that day, it's going to be really special.

Since that book is gone, I decided we will open up our 'Treasury of Storybooks' a collection of bedtimes stories (if you can call them that). I am reading one a night and he loves it. When it's bed time, he runs into his room and gets that book...ok, maybe he's not always very enthusiastic about the bed time part...but he likes it when I read! Lucky for me though, he doesn't pay much attention to the actual storylines yet, because the stories in this book are terrible! Hansel and Gretel was a complete shock to me! I must not have paid attention at all when I was a kid because that book should have given me nightmares. Their father couldn't afford to feed them, so the stepmom made him take the kids into the woods and leave them there! He didn't even argue...he just did it! Then they come across a witch who tries to eat them, poor innocent Gretel pushes her into the oven, they steal all her gold and treasures and find there way home. Lucky for them, it's casually mentioned in the last sentence of the story, that the stepmother died while they were away and now they are a happy family. Umm...what is that supposed to tell little kids before bed?? Ah, scary stuff if you ask me. I think they should make that into a movie...it was be very dark. I can see Tim Burton doing it, Johnny Depp would be the witch, he's versatile. Oh No! Johnny Depp and Helena Bonham Carter could be the kids! He could make the whole computer generated world way to big for them, so they look little. I should write to him. OK, I am off track. Tonight's story was Henny Penny, which in all actuality is that same is Chicken Little. At the end of THAT story, Henny Penny, Cocky Locky, Lucky Ducky, Goosey Loosey and Turkey Lurkey all think Foxy Loxy is leading them to the king, to tell him the sky is falling, when in reality, she is leading them to her cave to eat them. Once there, Henny Penny gets scared and runs home as fast as she can...and then goes about her business pecking at the ground! SHE LEFT HER FRIENDS TO DIE! The last line in the story is "Henny Penny scratched happily in her yard and the King never heard that the sky was falling." What on earth is going on??? I am going to keep reading these everynight while Cael is too young to care, and I will keep you guys posted! I can't believe these darn stories.

Slumber Party

March 26...

Cael has a friend staying over tonight and I think it is so fun! Brayden is 3, and they are both a little young for the whole "sleepover" atmosphere though...they had fun with the popcorn and making a bed of blankets on the living room floor...but it's the actual sleeping part that is not happening yet. I'm sure they will conk out eventually but Cael has never slept in the living room before so he thinks we're just watching a movie. I turned out all the lights, so hopefully that will help. They are only 2 so I don't want them to be up too late. We shall see. At least they might sleep in tomorrow :)

They are both being really good and that's always a plus. I can't even put into words how awesome it is to see Cael play with a friend. It's so great.

I was very proud of myself today, I got so much cleaning done! Cael's room has been an absolute disaster area but today I went in there with him and we cleaned everything up. We found crayons in his bed, tools under the bed, and McDonald's toy in the laundry basket...it was a fun time! He loved seeing toys resurface, and once we were done, he probably played in his room for half an hour with his Handy Manny. Once I found all the tools and the tool box, he was happy as a clam and though it was the greatest thing ever, even though he hadn't touched it in more than a week. Funny boy.

I hope everyone has a good weekend, we are looking at a hair cut tomorrow and an easter egg hunt on Sunday so my weekend should be really fun! Goodnight everyone!

March 25...

I can't believe I finally missed a blog night! It's not even like I thought about it but had nothing to say, or couldn't pick a picture...I just flat out forgot! I guess that just goes to show how truly tired I am, because I have been pretty adamant about this blog. I have pushed it a few times, writing my entry at 11:50 pm...but I hadn't dropped the ball until last night. Oh well, no harm done I guess.

Today was the 'blah'-est day I have ever seen in my life. I didn't do a single thing, and if I try to remember whatever it is I did do...I can't! It's almost like I just stood in one spot, moving only to keep the kids happy and fed, while the hands on the clock just spun and spun. But that's not right either because they day went by insanely slow. I am going to blame the rain and just leave it at that.

I took this picture, because the highlight of the day was Averi teething. (I told you! I did NOTHING) She is so cute anyways and I love taking pictures of her, but this one really captures her concentration I think. Whenever she can reach my hand she will pull it up to her mouth faster than I can stop her. I hate it because I am then covered in slobber (which she has a ton of) and when she's really serious about it, it can start to hurt. Even though there aren't any teeth breaking through yet, she can really mash those gums! There is one bottom tooth threatening every day to finally appear and I will be glad the day it does. Maybe she will have a little break before the next one tries to come in.

I'm so tired!

March 24th...

I am going to apologize in advance, this is probably going to be either really short, or drag on and on about my day...I will decide as I write I guess. Today was an absolutely exhausting day. Do't get me wrong, it was a lot of fun in the middle...but I don't remember the last time I have been this tired. I was exhausted a few days ago and that seems like nothing now! I know, If I am this tired, I should be in bed. Both kids are sleeping...so why aren't I? Good question. The answer is a little ridiculous...TV. Survivor, Idol, catching up on last weeks Amazing Race...these are all shows that need to be watch in silence. It's just a weird tick I have, I don't get the full effect of the show if I am constantly pausing it or missing things. I have an addiction, I know. Hello, My name is Darci and I am a reality-tv-show-aholic...

Today started at the Dr's office for Cael's physical and 2 year check up. Oh boy. That was a nightmare. New clinic, new waiting room (with NOTHING for him to do,) new people. He screamed and acted boneless from the second she called us back. It was a nightmare. On top of the stress I was already feeling, the dr told me the best thing to do about his picky eating is to put my foot down hard and wait it out...not letting him eat anything else at lunch or dinner until he finally gives up and eats what I eat. I knew that wasn't going to go well. And again, on top of that, she is a little concerned about his talking and referred us to a speech therapist to make sure he can hear 100%. Just a precaution she doesn't think he is deaf at all (and neither do I) but he doesn't put words together and apparently he should. I'm not worried about his talking it all...but knowing that someone else is just adds to my stressful day.

After the dr, we went to the park and that part should have been awesome. I love the park, I love watching Cael play with other kids, and he does really well there. Today something hit me though and I realized how much I really miss Derrick. My kids are in completely different age brackets, and I literally have to pick one while we are at the park with friends. I can either leave Averi with the other moms and be with Cael to take pictures, help him on the ladders, or just play with him and constantly wonder is Averi is fussing or wanting something...or I can choose to stay with Averi, and stress about where Cael is and trying to follow his feet between all the playground equipment trying to make sure he doesn't get kidnapped or trampled by the bigger kids. No matter which I choose, or how many times I switch...It's exhausting! Next time I am taking my baby carrier so Av can just hang out and we can watch Cael together.

Dinner was definitely an issue when we got home (which I knew it would be) but I wanted to follow the dr's advice because I know she is right. He needs to learn that I am the mom and that makes me the boss, and what I cook for dinner is what we have for dinner and he will either eat it or be hungry. I don't normally give in and make him something else, but I will usually give him some milk or a piece of cheese to eat with dinner so he will at least eat something. Not tonight though. Tonight I put my foot down and he hated it. His dinner is still sitting on the table...untouched. He is going to be starving when he wakes up in the morning and it is going to take everything I have to keep doing this every night. He will get it eventually though and this will all be over...hopefully sooner than later.

Well....I guess drag on and on was the answer for my warning at the top...I think I knew that already in the back of my mind. I am going to go pull my hair out now. It's all falling out anyway, when I get out of the shower the water will hardly drain because of all my hair falling out! My friend said it's the stress of Derrick leaving. Maybe I will join my friend Kelli and just shave it. We can be bald together :)

Cael the Builder!

March 23rd...

It was a beautiful day today and I wanted to get Averi out into the sunshine for a little bit so we decided to go on a walk (something we SHOULD do everyday...but I don't always) Down at the end of our street there are new houses being built, and I knew from the last time we walked down there, that there were some tractors down there. I thought Cael might like them, so when we got to the stop sign at the end of our street, we turned right instead of left and headed into the cul-de-sac to explore them! He had a blast! At first we were just looking at them, there were a few kids riding there bikes and playing on the big gravel pile, so Cael was really wanting to go play with them...but after they left, he was all about the tractors! I wasn't sure if we were "allowed" to climb on them...but there wasn't anyone around, so when Cael asked if he could drive one I was like "Ummm...sure!" Hope that's alright! And if it isn't, I hope the construction workers don't read my blog! :) No harm done, just a little boy being a little boy.

Finally, A Real Dinner!

March 22...
Ok this blog entry might look a little different from the rest. I downloaded a new photo editing software called Picasa ( LOVE IT! and it was FREE thanks Cass!) and it has a "Blog This!" button that I can click and write an entry right here from this program, instead of going into blogger.com. I am downloading a ton of music right now and the internet is just crawling along, so hopefully this will be faster!
I realized two things tonight. The first was that just because it's only me and Cael eating dinner everynight, and just because it's very rare that I can get Cael to even take a bite, regardless of what we are having...that doesn't mean we have to live off of box dinners and chicken nuggets! It felt so good to cook and eat and actual meal tonight. I feel good about myself and not like I cheated in any way, and I don't have that whole "Oh man, I need to start working out" gloom hanging over me! We had cheesy chicken and rice casserole tonight and it was delish! I usually don't cook big dinners for one obvious reason, waste of food. I am terrible at eating leftovers and I hate throwing food away...normally I would just stick it in the fridge and it would stay there for about 6 months until my mom came over and helped me clean the kitchen LOL. But since that isn't really an option anymore, I have strated from cooking. Tonight's dinner was so good though...I don't think it will be an issue!
The second thing I realized tonight; I don't like taking pictures of food!! I promise this looked remotely edible in person!

Lazy Day

March 21...

I don't think anyone reading this (no matter what side of the country you live on) will be surprised to hear that this has been a very lazy day. Apparently the entire country is under rainfall right now because no matter who I talk to, everyone is saying the same thing : "This rain is making me sleepy..." Well I hear ya! Normally I love rainy days, but something about today was such a bore. Cael and I lounged all day, I would look over every once in a while and see him playing with his cars, driving them on all the courses he has discovered throughout the house. I scrapbooked a little today while both babes were napping and that felt really good! I was proud of myself for actually getting the supplies out and bringing them to the kitchen table (so I could Skype with my sister...still can't scrapbook alone yet) and even prouder that I took them all back when I was done! After nap time, it started to really pour, so I went outside to take a few pictures of the rain. I really like what I came up with.

All in all it was a pretty boring, not too special kinda day....but I think that makes it special in itself. These days are good to look back on.

Comfy Comfy!

March 20th...

Wow, I can't believe it is the 20th already. I hope the rest of the year goes by this fast! I don't want to waste it, but that's what a camera is for...to go back and see what you did on the days that flew by without you noticing. That is what I am hoping for, to spend the next few months in a blur with my finger on the shutter button. Once Derrick is home we can sift through the memories together! Sounds like heaven.

Anyway, onto today's post. I am posting 3 pictures today because we all had three "events" happen today...not that they were big events, but events just the same.

First up are my pants! I bought these pants at Kohl's specifically to wear in the hospital while recovering from Averi's birth. (For Cael's birth it was a robe) After I had her, they turned into my scrapbooking sweats because they are the most comfortable sweats I have ever worn. It doesn't matter how many times I wash them, they are so soft on the inside, and they are purple and cute and I love love love them. I thought they were lost a few days ago, maybe another mysterious washing machine disappearance...but in fact they had never made it haha! They had fallen out of the pile on the way to the washing machine and were stuck, helpless in the closet that I hardly ever enter. Now I can get some serious scrapping done!

The next picture is Averi. I haven't attempted baby food again since the carrot incident a few weeks ago. I thought tonight was a good a night as any and this time we went with something a little sweeter, bananas! She could not get enough of them and it was absolutely hilarious. I think what was going through her mind was "I have to suck on something to get more bananas" because as soon as I gave her a bite she would find the closest thing to her (usually her fingers) to suck on really quick and try to get as much food off of them as she could. I should have just dipped her fingers in the bananas instead because a lot of the actual food got lost in the shuffle and ended up on her bib. She would go back and forth, left fingers, right fingers, left fingers...and when neither of them would produce more banana she would start to cry until I could move her hands just enough to squeeze another spoonful in! Silly girl.

Last is Cael. Nap time came around and I put him in bed like I do everyday, gave him a kiss like I do everyday, and told him to close his eyes like I do everyday. I stuck to my routine, but he chose not to stick to his. He got up and played in his room instead of napping. I figure quiet time is quiet time, if he wants to sit on his bed with his cars and drive them around, so be it, at least he is resting. Not so much. 5:30 rolled around and he just passed out. He has skipped naps before, no big deal, but Cael NEVER falls asleep on his own. He is not willing to miss one second of one day until he absolutely has to, so in that regard, this absolutely cracked me up. I told you Cael...one of these days that nap-skipping is going to catch up to you!

I can see my table!

March 19th...

Well I got my scrap book area done tonight. I had tons of help from my little monkey-man...which is always greatly appreciated (sigh...) It could still use some tweaking, and I know there are loads and loads of paper hiding from me somewhere. It's going to be a nightmare when I find them. No more buying paper until I use a significant amount of what I have! (That's what I have been telling myself for the past two years, but it might stick this time) There is a Hobby Lobby down the street (I'm thinking Tennessee's version of Michael's) but I haven't been in there yet. I am staying out of it on purpose, because until I really get back into the swing of things, I don't need any more crap! I can't wait to get started, I have the majority of 08, all of 09 the beginning of 2010 and 2 newborn books...I am going to be busy busy busy! Now all I need is some company :)

The other picture is the moon from my back door, I was just experimenting with focus, trying to get the moon in some and the branches in others...I thought this one looked pretty cool. There is one with the opposite effect, and it looks alright, but not crisp enough for me...oh well, I will keep working at it! Night everyone.

Exhaustion, it's making us all crazy!

March 18th...

We spent the day at the park down by the river today and for the most part had lots of fun! There were a few issues that we had to overcome for the sake of enjoyment and getting the best use out of this beautiful spring weather, one of which would be Cael not being able to take a nap today. Ever since I started babysitting, his nap schedule has been completely thrown out of whack. He can't seem to fall asleep when he knows he has a friend out in the living room who still gets to play, but he also can't seem to fall asleep after I am done babysitting, because then it is just too late and apparently the "nap time window" has passed. So for today, I figured oh well, he hasn't been napping anyway these past few days, I dimmed the lights and closed all the curtains and we just relaxed all morning. I wanted to make sure he was going to have fun at the park. Fun he most definitely did have! I love watching him play on all the playground equipment and with all the other kids, it makes me so proud. I have raised this little boy (so far) to have the ability to handle himself very well on his own! He figures things out. If the steps to the slide are too tall, he finds another way up. It's an awesome feeling. There was a small mishap with a basketball that almost had me diving into the river...but other than that he managed perfectly on his own.

Where the downfalls of all this come into play is after we got home. My poor sister who happened to be on the phone when bath time came about is probably permanently deaf in whichever ear she was holding her phone to. Cael was SO insanely tired that nothing was going right for him, he didn't want a bath (highly unusual) but he was filthy so it wasn't up for negotiation. He didn't want to sit on his potty chair, or have the lid open.....or closed, and I don't know how to make it not do either, so that was another catastrophe. He laid down OK for bed, but about 10:15 or so woke up extremely upset about something. I wish I could read his mind. Especially when he is half asleep and the few words I can usually understand sound more like a croak instead of anything else. After some applesauce and some juice and a little lounging on the couch, he finally fell back asleep though...now we wait and see if he stays asleep through the night. I think the poor little stinkbug is just too tired! It must be affecting me too because it is 11:40 and I am just now writing my blog! First day so far that I have completely forgotten...but at least I caught my self and I will try to get some good sleep so this doesn't become a pattern. After I read of course, I have been instructed to finish my book by tonight because my mom is dying to talk about the ending....I will do what I can mom, but I make no promises!!!

Thoughtfulness

March 17th...

I was cleaning off my scrapbook table today (I have a looooong way to go still! But when American Idol comes on...cleaning bug goes off) and I came across this letter that my sister Cassie wrote to my daughter on the day she was born. I have read it so many times, I already knew what it said but I re-read it anyway and, like always, it made me cry. All she did was tell Averi what our lives were like on the day she was born, where her daddy was and why he couldn't be there with us, how much fun we had "dressing" her as a pumpkin on Halloween and how my big orange belly scared Cael, how I could hardly fit into my dress at Cassie's wedding...the little details I probably would have never remembered in 10 years. But thanks to Cassie's letter, Averi will always know. She will know exactly how excited we all were to finally meet her. Thank you Cassie, I could never tell you how much this means to me.

Look out Martha Stewart!

March 16th...

Now just to start this off since a million of you are already screaming at me for being an idiot...one thing that Derrick and I talked about before he left was that he wanted me to use our deployment money and buy a Kirby. So just calm down! I'm just following orders here!

We had a demonstrator come to the house the very day we moved in, so we figured 'why not?' We didn't have any furniture in the way, the carpets had been professionally cleaned before we got here (and as an "almost" Kirby saleswoman in Ca, [I didn't have the whits to go door to door to sell vacuums...] I knew it would find muck in our "clean" carpets) Derrick was completely disgusted with what the Kirby pulled up and said we could get one once we could afford it. Well guess what? We can afford it! 111 bucks a month and it will be paid of a month after Derrick gets home! Hooray for military discounts!!!

I know I asked for advice on face book, but that was stupid of me. I had already decided I was gong to say yes when Mr. Bill came knocking on my door this afternoon, I just wanted some extra 'go for it!' well...I only got one! Everyone else and their mothers were telling me 'no! no! you're an idiot! who cares if your baby crawls on dirty carpet, it will build up her immune system" well guess what? That is not a standard that I WANT to be OK with! Ya, I realize these vacuum's are insanely expensive, but they get the job done and have a lifetime warranty. We'll see who's laughing at who, when you nay-sayers have all spent more than this replacing yours! I should not have to feel bad, or selfish, or anything else for that matter, about wanting my daughter to crawl on clean carpet! And I won't feel bad about it!

So there...I have ranted, and I have raved...and I feel better. I'm sorry if I offended anybody with my capitol letters, I was just a tad emotional about my new vacuum. I will be cleaning all day tomorrow and hopefully I can get that BBQ stain out of the carpet!

Good night everyone! Happy American Idol Top 12 night!

**2 hours and a few deep breaths later...I feel the need to apologize. I didn't mean to offend anyone about how clean their carpets are, or what my "standards" are. Not my intention at all! All I meant was that, I felt like I was being...i can't think of the words right now. Scoffed at? Or put in my place? When I asked for people advice on whether or not to get a Kirby, one of my friends said (and I'm paraphrasing, the way I took it) Averi would be better off with a 'dirty' carpet because she will build up an immune system and that it was pointless because no where else I took her would have clean carpets anyway. Well I was really offended by that, and if you are reading this, I don't mind calling you out on it because I don't think you meant it the way I took it at all. I understand the point that was trying to be made...it just hit me the wrong way. Like my daughter didn't stand a chance no matter what.

Anyways, I am over it. I am still happy I bought it and again, I am sorry if anyone was offended from what I said. Thanks.

And just for the record, I have more than one favorite on American Idol and I don't think that has ever happened before! I really like, Andrew and Siobhan. But there are definitely more I am rooting for!

One Full Month

March 15th...

Well, we survived a month out of this deployment. Only 11 more to go. We aren't sure yet when his R and R will be, but finding that out will make it even less until we get to see him again. It's the silver lining around a dark lonely cloud, swollen to the max, threatening to rain heartbreak and sadness over our lives every single day. But...silver is silver right? If that's all I get right now, I will take it!

I think this picture if proof that the kids and I can do this for the time being. We are a very strong family and we take care of each other (Derrick included.) I was nervous to bathe the kids together because I didn't want Averi to slip in her seat while I was tending to Cael. But they both did great, Averi LOVED seeing her big brother in the bath tub with her! He gave her all his toy shapes one by one and filled her little tub. After she was all clean I sat her up in the bigger part of the tub so she could splash around...she didn't. Just smiled. That's alright. Smiles are the best medicine for lonely days and the three of us make sure to give them out like candy.

Rainy Day

March 14...

Cael wanted to go outside SO badly today, but it just wasn't nice out. It was drizzly all day and really gloomy and gray. Not the worst weather ever, but I definitely did not want him playing outside by himself, falling down and having to use his hands on everything...that's just a recipe for a cold. I didn't want to go outside with him either because of Averi, she doesn't need to be outside in the gloom. So instead we jsut find to find enough activities to do inside to keep us from going insane. I'm not sure why it was so hard today, we are always inside...but for some reason today there was a thick cloud of boredom looming over our house. And our moods.

Cael and I made (clarification, i made, he stepped on) a town out of his blocks for his cars to drive around, and that kept us both busy for a long time! I forget how much fun something as simple as a toy car can be, until I actually get down on my hands and knees and play with him. I used to love cars when I was little. My cousins and I played with them constantly whenever I was at their house, which was a lot!

Tools were another way to keep ourselves busy, but that was mostly Cael. He may not be old enough to actually build things with them, so instead he just picks a power tool and holds the button down. He must be in some kind of contest to see how fast he can run the batteries out...good thing I bought extra!

This picture of Averi is so amazing to me. The pajamas she is wearing were mine when I was a baby. I didn't get to put any of my baby clothes on Cael so this was just awesome. I made it out to the storage shed in the backyard today and brought in the boxes of "too big Averi clothes" to go through. Good thing I did, there were some things in there that will fit those long legs right now! and not for much longer! When I saw the PJ's I was afraid I was too late and they would be too little on her, but they fit perfectly. I left the 2 top snaps undone because apparently it was OK to choke the children back in the day...same as letting them sleep in cribs with lead paint :) That neck collar was so tight! So we made a little adjustment and she looked adorable.

I love my babies so much.

Awwww....

March 13...

I didn't even have any words to say when a lady with a big bouquet of flowers knocked on my door. We were headed out to the grocery store and she barely caught me. I had already put Cael in the car and ran back into the house to get Averi and the diaper bag. My first thought was that she was some random person here to tell me why I shouldn't leave Cael in the car by himself, and I instantly had my rebuttal. It's our driveway...it was only for second...yadda yadda yadda. But then I noticed all the flowers and could not wipe the smile off of my face! She handed me the vase and warned me that she might not have spelled Derrick's name right because the sheet of paper with the request on it was blurry, but I couldn't even tell her what the correct way was! I just couldn't stop smiling, I thought I was going to cry. I almost canceled our trip to the store afraid they might die before I got home to take a picture....but that was silly. I did rush our trip though! We were in and out!

I love him so much and as much as I miss him, I could not be prouder to be his wife. I wouldn't trade him for anything in the world. Just knowing that he is still thinking of me too makes me so insanely happy. We are a very long distance apart and I admit, I had some worries about our marriage. A year is a long time and who knows what he could start thinking (or forgetting) over there...he never has had a single doubt though. He has told me since day one and I am so glad. He snapped me out of my doubts really quick! :)

Love you hon.

Things are looking up!

March 12th...

OK so today may not have been the most productive day all in all but I did do a few things that made me feel really good!

1) I vacuumed the living room (something I have been telling myself to do since Cael's birthday party but always ended up making excuses as to why I couldn't; i.e. it would wake up the baby...yeah right.) Anyway, I got that done.

2) I made plans for this weekend! Nothing huge, a haircut tomorrow, and the park on Sunday (weather permitting) so I get to spend these next two days with actual adults. I love Cael to tears and I could live forever and ever only talking to him and no one else....(if I really had to)...but I think I could use a few hours talking to someone who doesn't cock their head to the side when they say 'please'. :)

3) I got a basket of laundry put away! You know those times when it takes forever to fold it, so you consider it a job well done when your finished and then live out of the basket until it gradually turns dirty again? I do that. Well today I figured enough is enough! I put those clothes away! and then I filled the laundry basket right back up and it is folded in the same spot in front of the couch...oh well.

4) and finally...I got to talk to Derrick for more than an hour today on facebook! It was so great to not be rushed. He got to catch up on all of the pictures and videos he hadn't seen, I got to fill him in on all my juicy gossip (because that is what I do), but most importantly he got to actually tell me about what he is doing over there. I am so proud of him, and I hope he always knows that! 2 more days and then it will be one month down! 11 to go! and 11 doesn't seem like that many....right?

Darci The Babysitter!

March 11th...

A couple of days ago, my neighbor Jenny from across the street came over and told me about a friend she had who was looking for someone to watch her 5 year old son, Ashton. Jenny and I hadn't officially met yet, but she could tell I was a nice person and thought she would at least run it by me. I agreed to meet with Sabrina (the mom) and we could talk about it. Well Jenny, Sabrina and Ashton all came over the next day to meet us and it went really well. Ashton and Cael played and played and played in just the few minutes they were here, and with this warm weather, it would be great to have another little boy for Cael to play with in his newly found paradise (aka the backyard.)

Well today was day one and it was only for a few hours as a test run. Man that boy is a bundle of energy! I wish I had that much energy by 9 o'clock in the morning! I haven't heard Cael laugh like he was, in SO long! (aside from when I tickle him, that is!) There were a few issues from Cael when it came to sharing and a few issues from Ashton when it came to flushing the toilet...but other than that, this morning was great! When I asked Ashton if I could take a few pictures of them playing....this was what he gave me! He is a good little boy, and other than a few choice words...he will be great company for Cael.

Positional Plagiocephaly

March 10th...

This might come as a surprise to most of you today because I haven't talked about it much other than with some family, but I was having a hard time explaining our issue without a picture, so here you go. Now everyone can be informed on what Averi and I are about to go through.

I noticed the day Averi was born that her head was a little crooked, she had a bit of a flat spot in the back and to the right, so her head naturally rested that way. Around 2 months old (right after we moved here) I started to realize that it may be turning into a bigger issue than we all originally thought. I have been working with her pretty much every hour of every day trying to get her to look the other way long enough to redistribute the pressure, but gravity is a very powerful thing and she is just has a hard time not laying on the right side of her head. I did some research the other night on the internet and found out a bunch of information on babies with flat heads. I thought I was just going to get a few tips and tricks I hadn't tried yet to fix this, but what I found instead just about scared me to death. It is called Positional Plagiocephaly and it is caused by babies laying on the same spot for too long and can be corrected, if caught soon enough, with a helmet. From what I found out online, but about 6 months of age, the skull has hardened up too much for a helmet to do any good, so the clock is definitely ticking.

I made her a doctors appointment the very next day and they were able to squeeze her in this morning, it was such a relief to finally get her looked at, but at the same time I was terrified that the doctor would pat me on the head, tell me I was over reacting, and to go home and wait it out. I went into that office determined to make sure I was heard today, but luckily, I didn't need to. Averi's new doctor is just about the nicest man I have ever met; he listened to me and agreed, and he was very informative on what options there are. He is referring Averi to a plastic surgeon in Nashville who will supply us with a helmet if he feels it is necessary.

Before we go to Nashville, though, Averi has to go back in for a CT scan and that will confirm what we think the problem is. There is another reason her head could be misshapen, and that is if the plates of her skull are prematurely fusing together. If that is the case, we are in a whole nother ball game...but my fingers are crossed it's not! The doctor said there is a 90% chance it is positional and can probably be corrected. I will keep everyone posted on what the CT scan results say and what our next step is.

I found it a lot harder than I thought to take pictures of her head, I just can't seem to get the right angle, but in person the shape is very prominent and easy to spot. The right side of her skull is basically pushed forward from all the pressure she puts on it. Her right ear is about half an inch closer to her face than her left ear and the right side of her forehead is pushed out the same distance. She can move her head from side to side and look both ways, so the doctor ruled out torticollis which is when the neck muscles are too tight, forcing a baby to only lay on one spot.

I realize this is kind of a personal matter, and I am sharing it with the world right now. A lot of people will probably read this and think I am a bad mom for letting this happen. But just know, that I am working really hard to try and convince myself that this is not my fault...without much luck. I noticed it from birth and I didn't do anything...I figured it would even out as she grew. And now that it hasn't, I feel terrible. I know that CT scan is going to scare the living daylights out of her, they will probably put her under the anesthesia for it, but leading up to that point, with me not holding her and making her feel better, I don't even like to think about it. Chances are, if I had been able to take her in earlier, they would have told me she was still young for corrective action anyway, so I am trying not to blame myself too much. I just want the best for her and I can't imagine her getting picked in school for something I could have tried to fix. There are lots of other things she will probably get picked on for, that I had no control over (like her vision...just a guess)...elementary school is a dangerous place! I am trying to nip this in the bud and see what can be done. So if you are thinking bad things about me right now...screw you.

Comes with the territory

March 9th...

Well I guess if he is going to be a big boy and play outside all the time, bumps and bruises are inevitable right? He has gotten more scratches these past few days than he has his whole life. I am ok with these little ones...but I don't ever want to see him get actually "hurt", I'm not sure how well I would handle that. Scooby Doo band-aid's are cute though and he really likes them, that's a plus! Now we tackle potty training...

I have been slowly trying to ease him into it for a while now, but he seems to have lost interest. I am debating on whether or not to push it, I know his dad is gone right now, but he's going to be gone a whole year and we can't wait that long. Diapers don't get any bigger than 6! It's supposed to be high 60's for a while and I think we will definitely be spending some time in undies outside so he can get the hang of it. Today I went into his bathroom and saw his daddy doll sitting in the potty chair...I asked him what daddy was doing and he said "Pee!" so I know he gets it...kind of :)

How did this happen?

March 8th...

I saw this firetruck out in the backyard today and something just hit me. How on earth did this happen? When did I go from having a sweet baby boy, to having a son? I know, he has always been my son, but is he not my baby anymore? Averi is my baby...can I only have one? It's like I woke up one day, and he is a little boy. He can express himself, he can communicate what he wants, he has thing he likes and dislikes, he can tell me no... It's not me deciding what I think he might like anymore, or picking out clothes because I think they're cute when we go shopping. He has an opinion now. He knows what toys he likes and doesn't like. We went to the store yesterday to exchange one of the multiple potato heads he got for his birthday, and I figured in and out, we exchange for a different potato head and we are good to go. Nope. They didn't have any other options except Mrs. Potato head from Toy Story...I thought she was adorable but Cael didn't want her, so we spent 30 minutes in the car isle. He had to try out every single one that made sounds, and he would hold on to one and I would say "alright, is that the one you want?" and he would shake his head and put it back. I wasn't even annoyed (stay at home mom with a husband in afghanistan...what else was I gonna do?) I was just in awe. I am so proud of him for being such a big boy, but at the same time...am I ready for this?

Glee!

March 7th...

Glee

–noun

1.

open delight or pleasure; exultant joy; exultation.

I bought myself season 1 of the show Glee today while we were out getting formula. I missed half of the first season when we moved down here and I wanted to catch up before the new season starts. After Cael went down for his nap, Averi and I sat down on the couch and started watching it. She loves spending one and one time with me and she could not stop smiling every time I sang along with the TV. (Lucky for me, she doesn't really have a concept of off key and tone deaf!) Times like this make me think about what it might be like when the kids are older. When I was little I remember having Misty-Mom day and Darci-Dad day. It was never something we did regularly...and to be honest, I can't even remember what Dad and I did for that day. But at least I remember that we did it! I would love to have days like that with Cael and Averi. I try to picture Averi and Derrick spending a whole day together. One special day where she gets treated like an absolute princess (pretending for a second, he doesn't spoil her rotten everyday anyway) I can only imagine at what she would want to do. Go to the zoo...or the local swimming pool...maybe even tour an art museum or something, I don't know, but whatever it is, I know Derrick and he would do everything in his power to make sure it happened. She is so full of life and excitement, I can't wait to see who she grows up to be. Slowly of course...I'm not ready to leave the baby/toddler stage yet. I keep telling myself, Derrick is only going to be gone for a year and then my babies can have their daddy again. Just one year...and less than that now! His time over there gets less and less everyday! That's a statement that makes me glee-fully happy!

a belated birthday

March 6th...

Day one of life with a two year old! Not that it seems any different to him, but to me it's huge! I find myself looking at him differently, treating him a little differently...all good of course. I'm not making him scoop poop and wash the car or anything, but I am giving him little responsibilities around the house that he has fun with. Like tonight he helped me give Averi a bath. Usually I give her a bath after he is in bed because I try to keep her up a little later, but tonight he wanted to help. Not to mention he played outside pretty much all day! I LOVE having a nice flat fenced back yard. In all the houses that Derrick and I have lived in, this was my number one criteria and we finally got it! I love this yard so, so much. It was nice again today so for most of the afternoon I just left the back door open so he could come in whenever he wanted to. It is all windows, so I can see him with it closed so I felt perfectly comfortable letting him play. Averi and I joined him for a little while, but it was before noon and she got chilly fast.

I got a little surprise to day while both kids were napping. I was watching my netflix (finally! All About Steve with Sandra Bullock, she is hilarious, but I probably won't buy it...4 stars) anyway, watching my movie and the doorbell rang. I was pretty sure my days of delivery trucks parked outside are pretty much over (for now) so I had no clue who it was. It was our neighbors from across the street! They were all dressed up and had a birthday present for Cael! Jenny had misplaced the invitation and couldn't remember what day Cael's party was. It was my fault really, with a two year old as my oldest...I didn't even think about school for the bigger kids. Anyway we both apologized, and after Cael woke up from his nap, I gave them a call to come play. Joel and Arianna are Cael's new buds! He loved playing outside with them. It was nice to see older kids in an environment that was all about Cael, and no one was trampling him or trying to get him to play something else and leave them alone.

This picture is awesome to me because Cael took it! Both the kids wanted to take a few pictures of Jo with my camera and I let them...but Cael wanted to take one too. If you're going to play with big kids, you should get to do what they do right? So I held it for him and showed him which button to push. Not bad if you ask me! I see quite a few afternoon's with them over here in the near future! They loved him!

Busy Day!

March 5th... (different format today, because I have 3 pictures!)

First up is my bed! It has been soooooo long since I have slept on an actual bed and I am very excited about it. For as long as we have been here, we have been sleeping on an air mattress, and then it's been the couch for about a week now...I think I am due! Derrick, I know when you read this you are going to freak out about the purple...but don't worry! By the time you are home, I will probably be ready for a new one :) If not, than you are just going to have to live with it! Because I love it, it's relaxing.

On to picture 2: Cael turned 2 today and we had a party here at the house. ( I would have loved to put a big happy smiley picture on here today, but I have to concentrate to get those ones most of the time, and I was WAY too busy today!) The day started off great, he woke up so cute with his daddy doll and came out of his room smiling (a good sign) and then he got a call from his dad! It was so great to hear Derrick's voice and to hear that he is alright. It hit him a little hard that Cael was actually 2, and he didn't get to be here...but he is a very strong man.

I spent the rest of the morning getting the house ready for his party and trying to get him to nap, which didn't happen.

The party was a lot of fun, it was a mix matched group of friends I have made since I have been down here, so it was akward for a minute while we were all introducing each other...but after that we all got along really well! I wasn't worried about Cael at all, he was really happy to have friends to play with! It was his second time playing with Brayden, and those two get along really well. I could go on and on about the party....but as you saw above...my bed is calling me. :)

For my picture #3 I wanted to put this one up because I love it! Eryn has been the best friend I have had since I have been down here, and really the best friend I could ask for. We get along great and our girls are so cute together! (Even if they only stare at each other for right now!) I just am very thankful for her for both helping me keep my sanity, and keeping me company.

I think this picture is great. It perfectly captures a mother and a daughter stepping out into a world that is finally sunny! Welcome to summer Sonia, lets just hope it sticks around for a while!

...

March 4th...

I have another entry for today. no picture or anything. Just thoughts. A soldier's life was lost today in Afghanistan. He was a part of the 3rd Brigade Combat Team for the 187th Infantry Regiment. I did not know him personally, but in the Army, that doesn't matter. He is a part of me just as much as he is a part of his unit, his platoon, every soldier fighting for us right now as well as there families home waiting. I say 'is' because we can't ever forget about the soldiers who give their lives over there. Had it been my own husband, I think I would die at the word 'was.' I hope he rests in piece and my thoughts and my heart go out to his family.

She is an army wife, just like I am an army wife and I cannot even fathom what she must be feeling. I hope she knows how many people are thinking about her, and how proud we all are of her husband and what he did for this country.

I would be lying if I said I wasn't terrified.

Hi Daddy...doll

March 4th...

I would just like to say first off, that I am MORTIFIED about putting a picture of my son with this messy of a face on here! He had fry sauce all over his face! But...when you have a toddler and you want a certain picture, you can't stop and clean him up and then hope he goes back to what he was doing, because he won't! So, tonight's blog has a very messy face!

I heard about these Daddy Dolls a long time ago and always thought it sounded like an awesome idea and wanted to keep it in mind in case Derrick ever deployed. Well a few weeks ago, a friend of mine posted a picture of her daughter with one and I'm so glad she did because Derrick hadn't left yet. One morning before he went to work I had him pose for me, and I ordered one for each of the kids. I recently ordered them pillows too, they have Derrick's picture on them as well, and Cael really didn't seem to care about them when they arrived, so I was a little nervous. But when they came in the mail today, Cael was so excited! The very first thing he did was give daddy a 'head bonk' that is something they have always done together. Never me...I guess I have too sensitive of a head...but my boys apparently have no pain tolerance. Lucky for Cael, his bonks for the next year will be against cotton instead of skull!

He doesn't sleep with it though (which is kind of a bummer because the website has a HUGE photo gallery of kids with their 'daddy dolls' and the sleeping ones are all so cute, I was looking forward to contributing to that) but that's alright, he still carried him around all day. He even felt the need to carry around Averi's as well. Cute little boy, he loves his dad so much.

Ewwww...Dat's Yuck!

March 3rd...

We spent the majority of the day today with the TV turned off and I have to tell you, it felt soo good! We are one of those families (good or bad) where it's just always on. I am huge reality show junkie, and Cael is in love with Nick Jr...there's just always something on. Not saying it's a great thing, but there it is. So today I really needed to get motivated to clean up the house for Cael's party coming up (it didn't happen...) so I turned on Pandora.com and turned off the TV. It was so quiet in here, Averi took her morning nap in her swing, Cael played with his cars and his books, and I got all our bills paid! It was very calming. Well it didn't last forever and when we decided to turn it back, I wanted to find something other than nick jr for Cael to watch. On comes Animal Planet, he was instantly hooked! Why didn't I ever think of this before? I like nick jr. just fine, I think there is a lot of learning integrated in the shows...but they are still cartoons and he doesn't need to be hooked on them like he is. So we are cutting back! He's no couch potato, he loves to play with his toys or run around outside (when Averi and I are in the mood for it) and there are only a few shows he can sit through for the whole thing anyway, but still. Change can be good.

Well 'Big Cat Diaries' is what happened to be on when we turned on Animal Planet and he loved watching the baby lion cub...he got even more excited when he saw a zebra! "Oooh Be-bah! Be-bah!" and I just thought to myself, oh goodness...what do I do know? Let him see them eat the zebra? or pull him to me and give him a big hug so he misses it and can spend a few more days thinking animals don't eat each other? I figured I would go ahead and let him see it, and tried preparing him before it actually happened; "It's called the circle of life bud..." but he was tuning me out. In absolute awe of what was happening. I didn't know what to expect, but what I got was hysterical. He got this look on his face and said "Eeeewww! Gross!" Boys will be boys I guess...no heartbreak for him. Maybe I will get lucky and Averi won't care either. I am a big enough sap for the four of us anyway!

Taking on the husbandly duties

March 2nd...

Well today has been a day of Derrick's jobs...and what a hard job he has! I may gripe about everything I have to do, being a mom and all that stuff...but his to-do list is jam-packed with heavy equipment and physically daunting tasks! My goodness, I really thought putting that crib together was going to be a piece of cake today. I achieved complete muscle failure before I was even done with the headboard! Not to mention the assembly directions that were e-mailed to me were 18 pages long and could just as well been written in japanese. I couldn't understand what they meant with the all the bolt nuts and the cam lock screws and the barrel nuts...I just looked at the pictures and hoped it looked like a crib when I was done. No wonder Derrick said so many bad words that night he put Cael's together. It may have been a tad easier, had I not had a helper. I am so excited for his birthday this weekend...we are getting him a tool bench! Finally, a way for him to help without actually "helping"!

After we got the crib together (and took a much needed rest) we went to get the oil changed in the car, another job that is in Derrick's territory. As well as actually checking the oil and putting some in...I am terrible. My dad will be the first one to tell you that. I was so ready for the guys at Jiffy Lube to yell at me, but they didn't! Cael made such an impression playing peek-a-boo with a lady in the waiting area, that she even went out to her car when it was done and brought us back in a $10 off coupon. Talk about awesome!

Even though I feel good about myself when I do these types of chores, all it really does deep down is make me realize how much I need Derrick here. I don't want to put oil in the car. There I said it. And I don't want to check the tire pressure either. I want to get the kids out, and in the house and be done. Is that such a bad thing? Is it ok for me to want his to-do list to be so long? Not only do I want him to be here for the heavy lifting, but I am not sure if I want him to know I can do these things. I want him to always feel like the man of the house, and think that I NEED him to do them because I can't. Isn't that the way husbands are supposed to think? What am I telling him if I can handle myself while he is away? How else can I let him know that we DO need him. We need him here for every reason under the sun...I don't want him to ever feel like I am taking his place. And Derrick...I know you are reading this! I didn't mean for all that to come out, it just happens sometimes when I write. It's how I am feeling, so there you go I guess. A minute's glimpse in the 'always going' mind of Darci.

Ummm...Delivery man? You forgot something...

March 1st...

I ordered Averi's crib from overstock.com when our tax money came in, and it finally came today! I was a little worried at first because the lady who called to verify that I would be home said I wasn't "allowed" to have any steps leading up to my door...umm ok, let me just take those off for you! I do have 3 steps and she said it would probably be alright. I politely said "ok thank you" but what I meant was: "No mam, I spent two hundred dollars on this crib and saw no 'stairs up to door' warning when I bought it. This nice gentleman drove it all the way here from who knows where and he is not turning his happy butt around until that crib is inside my house...!"

So anyway, he brought it in no problem (but I was really worried for a minute!) and set right inside my front door. Mind you, this thing was HEAVY! He was almost sweating just pulling it up the drive way on his dolly. He let me open it up and make sure everything was OK since the box was a little torn up from the trip...and the crib itself was fine. What I should have been looking for though, were the directions! I searched my way through the Styrofoam and tape and cardboard who knows how many times...nope. Now I have a pile of pieces in Averi's room and I don't know what to do with them. I felt like running down the street to stop him (not that he would have had the directions in his truck, but maybe he could put it together...men can do that kind of stuff, I'm told) but I didn't, because I was in my slippers. I called the manufacturer and they said they would TRY and e-mail me some...thanks guys, and then I will TRY and make something that at least resembles a crib.