November 14th...
When Derrick initially left for this deployment there was no teary good bye at the airport, or even at Ft. Campbell. There wasn't time. He literally gave me a kiss through the driver's side window of the car while two other soldiers grabbed his bags out of the back and then they took off. It was heartbreaking, but I see know how much I prefer it that way. This time, we drove him to the airport ourselves and the nice people that work there gave the kids and I passes to go with him all the way to the gate. As much as I appreciated the gesture (and believe me, we loved and cherished every extra minute we got to be with him) I am almost wondering if it would have been easier to just drop him off again. Just rip it off like a band-aid and get it over with, you know? Being down at the gate meant we heard every "Now Boarding" call over the speaker, and had the same tense moment every time where we would listen for which section she was calling. Being down there meant Cael got to watch the airplane taxi in, and then away again, knowing that his daddy was on it. It was cool for him, he didn't understand just what that meant, but it was awful for me. I got to pretend excitement for Cael's sake though, as we were getting back onto the freeway in Nashville, Derrick's (I'm pretty sure) plane flew right over our car and we all waved to him. What was really heartbreaking was when we pulled up to the house and got out of the car, there was an airplane up in the sky and when Cael saw it he started yelling "Airplane!! Dada home, YAY!!!" I hope this time goes by fast so I can tell him that the planes he hears really do have daddy on board.
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